I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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