I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
