OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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