You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
