Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He had one of those small greek statue penises
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I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
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Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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