OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
