i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
