I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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