During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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