What a fucking waste of an outfit
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
