OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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