Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
