The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
