I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
