I am puke
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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