he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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