I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
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i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
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I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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