Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize