Swine flu. Run for my life!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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