While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
