Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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