do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
