apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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