i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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