false alarm. still invincible.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
