Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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