i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
