im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.