Me. At least after what I've been through.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.