Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
