Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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