Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal