Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
