Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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