I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
