if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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