Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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