His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
