So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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