if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
