just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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