u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
