I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he thought i was a dude.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
