Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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