If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
