I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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