just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
