dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
