JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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