I could have mohawked her pubes.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
where are you?
Hypothermia
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
