is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
