i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
