He uses pillows to masturbate.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
