My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize