i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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