My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He felt like a one man threesome
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
