I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
