Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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