Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
