put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize