After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
my poor anus
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
