all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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