I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
