my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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