She's JV to your varsity
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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