she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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