i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Operation Purity has been aborted
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful