You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.