shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?