My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.