just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
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doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
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Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.