there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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