And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
