No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
