I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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