I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
