Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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