How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
