He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
