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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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