You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
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i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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